One of the biggest issues in the dating world is the inability to self-reflect and constructively criticise oneself with the aim of improving the quality of your dating strategy. People would rather solely put blame on the people who have wronged them, rather than themselves, because they don’t have the strength to dive into their own shortcomings.
There’s an episode on the YouTube show “To Catch A Cheater” where this particular man comes back 3 times to catch 3 different girls who were all cheating on him. And each time he comes back to investigate his girlfriends infidelities, he says something along the lines of “every girl I date keeps doing me wrong”.
But there comes a point where you must realise that the repetition of bad results comes from you, and not anyone else. You may be attracting bad people into your life, but the question is why are you attracting these people into your life, and not others?
Your reality is a reflection of yourself. In the above example, the guy would have to admit that there’s something wrong with what he’s doing that either attracts those women, or something about his vibe that makes the average girl feel like she wants to cheat on him.
However, it’s much easier to just call the girls sluts and say that he is just getting bad luck. This prevents him from ever having to accept that it’s his fault, which would mean that he has to change.
The same thing goes for many women who keep getting men who are ‘trash’ or ‘toxic’. In this current era, it is a trend for some women to say “men are trash”, implying that all the men they are getting are liars who mistreat them. But like the above example, they do not self-reflect to question if there is something they must do to break the cycle.
One of the most interesting things you will observe is that the women who have a negative outlook on men are more likely to attract the exact same type of guy that they think they are repelling.
Though your conscious mind might hate a certain guy, your subconscious mind attracts the things you focus on. So even though a woman may say “I hate men who lie”, if that’s what she focuses on, she will attract a man who lies. And when she gets a man who tells the truth, she will push him away, as her mindset won’t align with his.
You attract what you are, not what you think you want.
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