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The way of the superior man book summary review

Expressing the spirit of masculinity

I recently read the book “The Superior Man” by David Deida. It is a guide for men on how to express a masculine essence in work, relationships and in their social life. Here are the notes I took on the book, which may be of interest to men and women alike.


Chapter 1 – A Man’s Way

  • From the 1950’s, the traditional roles have been challenged giving women the space to embody more of a masculine essence with no discouragement, and the same goes for the men.
  • However, on a spiritual level this has caused a lack of fulfillment as each sex requires to exercise their own gender’s essence and seeks to find polarity by experiencing the opposite sex’s essence
  • Homosexual people also abide by the law of polarity. There is one masculine entity and one feminine entity in homo-relationships.
  • Women search for love and intimacy and men search for mission and heroism.
  • Suppressing your energetic essence leads to stress and a lack of fulfillment.

Chapter 2 – The Mission

  • Part one suggests the masculine way of dealing with a variety of everyday situations
  • For example, a man must acknowledge that his existence in a masculine state pushes him into a never ending mission to achieve his purposes
  • His purpose comes first before ANYTHING, even over your lover
  • A woman will test or doubt you repeatedly to gauge your true capabilities. Upon passing her tests, she will experience your divine masculine essence.

Chapter 3 – Dealing with women

  • For women, their primary mode of communication is emotions, not words and facts
  • A man must address her emotional issues and communicate to her on an energetic level
  • Women are like a sea of emotions and energy and being logical takes them out of this.
  • Seek to be supportive, as this encourages her. Women respond better to encouragement than tough love.
  • Women like men who mind read and take on all of the problems → Women want to relax and surrender, that is when they are most radiant.
  • Therefore, if you want a woman to be feminine, you must demonstrate that you will be the masculine entity.
  • Experience different energies that different women bring and understand which draws you.

Chapter 4 – What  women want

  • Don’t pursue a woman who isn’t interested, as this places her above your mission: intimacy and companionship should never be more important to you than it is to her. “If a woman has become the point of your life, you are lost.”
  • Women will request and test to see if you will fail in your ability to lead and protect. She will encourage you to fail
  • What women complain about is rarely the true underlying issue →  she is simply venting energetically via the words she has chosen. It  is expected for you to find out and address the true source of lack of security beneath the surface.
  • Women continuously judge you on your most recent  behaviours

Chapter 5 – Your Dark Side

  • Dark side: The masculine seeks freedom and release, whilst women seek love and surrender
  • Your woman will seek to feel safe through your fearlessness and inner ‘killer’.

Chapter 6 – Feminine attractiveness

  •  A man must whip his lustful nature into control via discipline

Chapter 7 – Body Practices

  • A woman may feel distrust for you if you cannot control yourself.
  • A woman deep down doesn’t want you to cum. She wants to try (and fail) to make you cum because she enjoys the attempt
  • Breathing affects orgasm control


Chapter 8 – Men’s and Women’s Yoga of Intimacy

  • Intimacy importance is different between the masculine and the feminine
  • To the feminine essence, love will dominate her thoughts.
  • Asymmetry of intimacy – each person should focus on achieving their own needs, rather than trying to match their needs in a futile attempt at an equal truce
  • The responsibility of forward movement is always on the man. However, men should try to make divinity the destination, as opposed to his desires.
  • Men grow in the company of men. Women grow in the company of women. If not, spirituality of both genders won’t be stimulated.
the way of the superior man review mini

Overall impression/ important takeaways:

  • The book is heavily devoted to the priority of purpose, but also acting in a state of love and consciousness for other people in your life.
  • No one, including your woman, family or work is an excuse for you to abandon of your mission searching/completion and state of being engaged
  • Understand that women are different 
  • Polarity is a priority. Even though a woman can do certain masculine jobs, it wont make her happy. To do it for her, allows her to relax in her feminine and this polarity accentuates attraction 
  • This book’s understanding of true feminine qualities takes the pressure off of woman to be something that they are not

    the way of the superior man david deida book cover


    It can feel a bit woo-woo at times, but still adds a ‘fiction’ feel that the average person would like to read.


    • Though the book can be a bit woo-woo, it is still based on the cold reality of the differences of the genders. It is a book that embraces the individual differences, rather than discouraging it
    • And it explains many situations that are real life in relationships, making it a good practical guide to look back to.
          Overall, a good book.

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